


Love Figures

by zealous_whispers_of_us



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Cheating, College AU, F/M, Fluff, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Smut, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-19 23:40:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19366009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zealous_whispers_of_us/pseuds/zealous_whispers_of_us
Summary: Figures. I gave you ride or die and you gave me games.





	1. Love Figures

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter is inspired by Jessie Reyez's 'Figures' and written for a tumblr challenge. Cheating College!Bucky, if that is a warning. Also, if it wasn't obvious, this is an AU- mostly because I can't picture MCU!canon Bucky cheating on anyone.

“Whatever you do, don’t turn around,” Natasha muttered in her ear.

“What?” she asked. “What do you mean?”

She was halfway to being drunk out of her mind; the celebration of her acceptance to the doctoral program of her dreams well underway. Her friends had been supplying her with drinks and laughter and praise the entire night, and she felt like she was floating on puffy white clouds of fulfilled childhood goals and drunken laughter. The only thing that was missing tonight was the warmth of Bucky against her back and his lips on her neck, sucking pink marks into her skin and whispering filthy promises in her ear.

“Just don’t turn around, okay?”

“Nat, what the fuck are you on about?” she laughed.

She took the shot that the bartender offered her and grinned at him in thanks.

“Whatever you do, don’t turn around,” Wanda, who had sidled up to her, said lowly.

“What is everyone on about? What am I not supposed to be seeing?”

Shrugging off Nat’s arm from around her shoulder, she spun around with a smile on her face. Surely her friends were just dramatic. What was so awful that she couldn’t turn around? They were in a bar for fuck’s sake. She expected it to be a couple on the dance floor, getting too down and dirty for the club. She expected to see a fight. She expected to see a girl getting hit on by a creepy guy, fear in her eyes. She anticipated everything except what she ended up seeing. The shot glass she held fell to the ground, shattering on impact. She gasped. Natasha’s eyes closed, and she clicked her tongue.

“Curiosity killed the cat.”

“What am I looking at?” she asked weakly, the overwhelming urge to vomit welling up in her throat.

“Do you need an answer to that question?” Wanda said.

She chewed her thumbnail as she watched the love of her life dry humping another girl. Bucky had his tongue down the girl’s throat, his thigh between her legs, holding her hips and grinding her back and forth. The girl had her hands buried in Bucky’s hair. She wanted to scream. She knew what this was. Bucky loved when she rode his thigh.

“I wasn’t gone that long, was I?” she asked faintly.

“Babe?” Natasha said, with her forehead creased in worry, “Are you okay?”

“Did you know this time? Did  _I_  know this time?”

Wanda handed her a glass of water that she waved off.

“ _Did_  you?”

She nodded weakly, ashamed.

“Probably. But I didn’t want to admit it. Christ, I’ve been gone for a month, and Bucky stopped texting me a week after I left. I didn’t want to assume, to think about it- oh God, I’m going to throw up. Get me out of here.”

“All right,” Natasha said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, “Wanda, go get the girls off the dance floor. We’ll meet you outside.”

She was numb. Like actually, physically _numb_. She couldn’t feel the left side of her body. Was this a symptom of a stroke? Can such a shock like this cause a stroke? A heart attack? Is she about to kick the bucket? Is the last thing she'll ever see going to be Bucky groping another woman?

She’d been in love with Bucky Barnes ever since that very first day of her freshman year in her undergraduate program. They’d met in an intro to a philosophy class that she wanted to take to satisfy one of her GRE requirements. But her reality-based, science-minded self could not wrap itself around these strange hypothetical concepts and Bucky, the mysterious and beautiful blue-eyed English major, had tutored her. They became fast friends, and she ignored his womanizing ways when they began dating their senior year. Perhaps she was the one who would change him.

That first year was all flowers, and sweet promises mumbled in the dark of night. Their sex life was phenomenal, and their chemistry was off the charts. Bucky was loving and gentle, surprising her with spontaneous trips on the back of his motorcycle, taking her anywhere from Coney Island to Niagara Falls. He’d buy her thoughtful little gifts and was always there to offer her kisses whenever she needed them. 

But then when she started her Master’s program and left Bucky behind, it all went to shit. Sure, they were in the same city, but they were miles apart regarding life goals and experience and mental age. He wanted to party. She wanted to get her Ph.D. He’d slept with his first girl that  _wasn’t_ her a few months into the semester. She’d found out six weeks later after the girl had called her from Bucky’s phone and asked her who the fuck she thought she was; bothering her man. Which, what the fuck?  _Her_ man? Come on.

God. Her chest hurt. She couldn’t take a deep breath.

“I can’t breathe,” she told Natasha.

“Come on. Let’s get you outside.”

Natasha wheeled her towards the front door, and of course, the only way out was to pass Bucky and the girl he was publically getting off. What even was her life? A fucking soap opera?

“Deep breaths,” Nat murmured.

“I would if I could,” she muttered.

God bless Natasha Romanov for dealing with her lovesick shit for the last six years. She would never find a more loyal group of women than the girls she roomed with during her sophomore year of college. They called Bucky horrid names in solidarity with her and offered her shoulders to cry on, cartons of ice cream to eat. But never once did they call her stupid for going back to him. And she knew that she was utterly ridiculous for staying. She knew, and she knew, but still, she waited.

That first day when Darcy had found her crying on the floor, she’d asked why she decided to stay with Bucky. The only thing she could think of to say was:

“I’m willing to stay because I love him, Darce. Pathetically weak and sick for his love.”

Natasha, Wanda, and Pepper. Maria, Darcy, and Jane. She didn’t deserve them.

She and Nat scurried past Bucky. And because this was officially the worst night of her life, it was at that very moment that he decided to come up for air. It all happened in slow motion as they locked eyes. Bucky’s jaw dropped, and he looked like a cornered animal. She almost snorted. He pushed the girl who looked like she was on the brink of orgasm (fucking  _really?)_ and scrambled from his seat.

“Walk faster,” Natasha said, shooting Bucky an icy glare.

It was hard to walk in heels when you couldn’t breathe. She found herself stumbling more than once. (Why couldn’t she take a deep breath?!) Bucky quickly caught up to them as they stepped outside into the warm summer night. His hand brushed her wrist, and she jumped out of her skin. She turned around and tried to glare at him.

“What?” she hissed.

“You didn’t- I didn’t know you were back. How was your trip?” Bucky asked, smiling. “You got in, right? That’s- shit, that’s amazin’, baby. ‘M so fuckin’ proud of you!”

She scowled. “Oh, fuck off with that bullshit, Bucky.”

He was always so good at playing dumb and deflecting anything that made him look like a grade A douche bag.

“What bullshit? Can’t I be proud of my girl?” he asked.

“Go away, Barnes,” Natasha spit.

“Nat, go wait by the car,” she said, rubbing her forehead. “Please?”

Nat agreed. “If you’re not there in the next five minutes, I’m coming back.”

She gave Bucky another deadly glare and strutted away. They were alone now. Bucky stepped closer, and she backed away from him.

“Don’t I get a hug?” he said, smiling at her with that brilliant smile.

“Don’t you fucking touch me. Bucky, again? You’re doing this  _again_?”

His eyebrows furrowed.

“Doin’ what again?”

“I swear to fucking Christ, if you keep playing dumb, I am going to throttle you. Or get Nat back here to call the Bratva on you. Don’t think I won’t!”

Bucky hung his head and sighed deeply. He looked up at her with broken eyes and reached out for her.

“’M so fuckin’ sorry, baby. I was lonely. You were gone for so long an’-“

“Do  _not_ try to blame me for your inability to stay loyal. You knew how long I would be gone!”

Bucky’s eyes turned stormy. 

“Well damn, what was I supposed to do? Ya wouldn’t fuckin’ talk to me! A guy has needs!”

“Ha!” she shouted suddenly. “Blaming me for your inability to keep your fucking cock in your pants; that’s new. I’ve never heard that before. Funny, funny,  _funny_  boy.”

“You’re th’ one that stopped talkin’ to me!”

“I did not! Do not even fucking start! You asked me for nudes, Bucky and I said no! I was in a pro-fucking-essional setting! I called you; I texted you every single day. But it wasn’t what you wanted, was it? God, it’s like you’re a fucking nympho or something!”

“A lil sexting never hurt anyone! The fuckin’ First Lady probably does it!” Bucky growled.

“That is not even the point, and you know it! Stop deflecting; I swear on my life, I will stab you in the face. Three years! Three fucking years and how many affairs? Way too fucking many to count! Ha! I gave it, gave  _you,_ my all, and what’s my reward! Jack shit! You gave me  _shit!_  For once in your life, can you man the fuck up and admit that you are an awful human being?”

Bucky snorted. “Tellin’ me to man up. As if you didn’t sleep with every guy you met when you were in Seattle. Fuck off with that shit!”

She jabbed a finger in his direction. “I did no such thing, and you know it! Unlike some of us, I could not even think about giving up what we have had since that very first fucking day of that fucking godawful class!”

“Then why th’ fuck haven’t ya left me yet, huh? ‘F you know so much an’ talk so much! Tell me, huh? You’re so smart! Explain it to me! Ya don’t trust me, so why are ya still here?” Bucky yelled.

“I don’t trust you?  _Really_?”

“No, you don’t! You’re always actin’ like ‘m goin’ around behind your back, gettin’ your girls to check up on me when you’re gone!”

“BECAUSE YOU DO GO AROUND BEHIND MY BACK, YOU IDIOT!” she screamed, tugging on her hair. “WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE  _I’M_ THE STUPID ONE, HUH?”

“Well, ‘m sorry! I’m so fuckin’ sorry! ‘M sorry! What else do ya want me to say?”

“Oh, you’re sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry, Bucky’s  _sorry!_ You say sorry  _once_ , and you think it’s enough? What are you sorry for? For cheating? Or for getting caught again?”

“’M sorry for cheatin’ on ya!” Bucky snapped. “Again! What more do ya want from me?”

“Nothing!” she cried. “I want nothing! Nothing from you anymore! How does it feel to lose the most real thing you’ve ever had in your life?”

“Where are ya, goin?!” he shouted. “Ya can’t live without me, I know ya! Can’t stand to sleep alone!”

“God, you’re so full of shit!”

She spun on her heels and stomped away from him, flipping him off over her head. Bucky didn’t follow her, choosing instead to scream at her, cursing her out, calling her a whore, a cocktease. 

But this time, she didn’t care. She was done. In three weeks, she was off to a better life way across the country and Bucky, who was originally going to come with her, was no longer welcome in her new life. She was done. Once and for all. It took her years and years of mistakes, but she felt stronger for it. A fresh start is what she needed while Bucky stayed in the same stupid city, pulling the same outrageous stunts. What would he do now that he couldn’t get her back?

God pray for the next girl he managed to trick with that sly smirk and bedroom eyes. She’d need it, the poor creature.


	2. But My Darling, I Am Still in Love with You (Ending One- Angst)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you. But ain't nobody need you like I do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by 'Happier' by Ed Sheeran. I cri everytiem (yikes, sorry).
> 
> This is the angsty ending!

**_Four Years Later_ **

“Tony’s a mess already,” Steve reported.

Bucky rolled his eyes and slammed down his second whiskey shot. Bless Tony Stark and his abundance of alcohol and willingness to share it all with his friends, but for fuck’s sake, it was the guy’s fucking  _wedding_.

“He got married an hour ago. Don’t tell me he’s already having second thoughts?” Sam asked.

“I think it’s more of a celebratory drinking binge.”

“Honeymoon ain’t gonna be much fun ‘f he keeps it up. Or… ‘f he  _doesn’t_  keep it up?” Bucky took another sip of booze and wiggled his eyebrows, “Eh? Eh?”

Clint snorted into his drink. Steve sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Bucky made a face at him over the rim of his glass. 

“Jesus Buck,” Steve said.

“Fuck off. I’m hilarious,” Bucky said miffed. “‘M checkin’ out the buffet. Clint, man, you want in?”

Clint shook his head, looking mournful.

“I told Laura I’d wait ‘till she gets here.”

“Suit yourself then.”

Bucky stood up from his chair and stretched his arms over his head. All of the wedding guests had been sitting for an hour previously, listening to several of Tony’s employees talk about how lucky they were to know Mr. and Mrs. Stark. To Bucky, this was basically like an entire ass kissing montage for everyone involved. Still, a drunk Tony was a generous Tony, and anyone who complimented him in any way was sure to get showered with expensive and slightly ridiculous thank you gifts afterward. Hence all of the ass kissing.

Bucky picked up a plate, warm to the touch, no expense spared for Mrs. Stark's dream wedding, not even cold dishware, and surveyed the long tables, heavily laden with food. There was everything that you could think of. It was like a goddamn world map of foods. Throw a dart and land on any place in the world. It took him a moment to decide, but once he did, Bucky filled his plate to the brim. Sushi, caviar on crackers, homemade meatballs, and that weird French cheese that Pepper liked so much. He piled his little plate high with everything that he could make fit and finished off his first course with a few pieces of French bread.

He was methodically gnawing away at a piece with some pate slathered on it when he caught sight of his ex-girlfriend. Bucky’s jaw went slack. She was standing a few feet away from him, talking to Natasha Romanov and Darcy Lewis, and it took Bucky a minute to recognize her. But it was her. And she looked so  _fucking_ gorgeous that Bucky found himself unable to move. The west coast had been kind to her. She was tan and not so sickly thin like she used to be. Her thick hair was longer and shifted over one shoulder, showing off the opened back of the pale pink bridesmaid’s dress she was wearing. Miles and miles of soft skin opened up to Bucky, making him itch to reach out and relearn what was once his.

He set his full plate down on an empty table and debated if he should say hello. He chewed his lower lip and rocked back and forth on his feet, uncomfortably until he realized that he was a fucking twenty-eight-year-old man and needed to grow up.

He took a deep breath, wished he’d brought an extra shot of whiskey and made his way over to her. The one whose heart he broke over and over again. The one he still loved desperately and hoped always loved him too. He felt like a child as he stood there, awkwardly hovering and wringing his hands together. Natasha was the first to notice him, and she smiled gently, her green eyes shimmering, pleased. Bucky returned it, trying not to let his nerves show. Nat tapped her friend on the shoulder, and she turned around, her soft dress swirling around her ankles.

Bucky swallowed thickly. Fuck him; she was more beautiful up close. He was sure his tongue was swelling inside his mouth.

“Oh! Hi James,” she said.

“Hey,” he croaked, before clearing his throat and trying again, “Hey. Long time no see.”

Bucky barely noticed as Darcy and Natasha sneaked away, the latter throwing a wink at her friend over her shoulder. He was busy trying  _not_  to look like he was openly gawking at the woman in front of him.

“It has been a while. How have you been?” she asked.

“I’ve been good, yeah. Got a job teachin’ to a buncha snot-nosed kids,” he said.

“Really? And how do you like it?”

“I love it,” Bucky admitted shyly.

She shook her head, something in her eyes turning fond.

“You always were good with kids.”

“Shit with adults though. That was more your thing.”

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, biting her lip at his praise. He could tell she was blushing. Bucky sidled closer and hesitantly reached out to her. He barely got his palm on her cheek before she stepped back from him warily, looking confused and distrustful. Bucky felt his shoulders sag.

“Please don’t touch me,” she said.

“Sorry,” Bucky mumbled. “’M so fuckin’ sorry.”

Shame suddenly hit him full force like a tidal wave, the strength of it so staggering that Bucky felt like he was about to keel over. His heart seized in his chest, and he bit back a high pitched whine of fear. It was suddenly all too much- the crowd, the music. He could feel his pulse start to skitter under his skin, and he hadn’t had an issue with anxiety for so long, what was  _happening?_

“’M so sorry,” he said again, scrubbing his hand through his hair, “God, I‘m  _so_ sorry.”

He thought he was going to stroke out right there, under the strobe lights, at a wedding — what a dumb way to go.

A soft hand gripped his wrist, and Bucky looked up from staring at his trembling legs and met her eyes. Cool, calm, and utterly collected. The eyes of a woman who’d seen the most horrid things that a human being could do and still, her eyes were clear and bright. Bucky had missed those eyes. She smiled encouragingly at him when she saw him watching her.  

“Come with me,” she said. “Let’s take a walk, huh?”

Bucky nodded. They began to walk, him stumbling along behind her as she walked purposefully towards the exit. Bucky suddenly had the overwhelming urge to pull her behind him and sweep the room for potential threats.

They were outside in the misty fall air in less than a minute and then she was shoving a water bottle into Bucky’s hand, coaxing him to drink. He took the water gratefully, but his hands were shaking too hard to hold it. Some sloshed onto his nice leather shoes. She clicked her tongue at him, and he handed her the bottle, tipping his head back as she poured the water into his mouth little by little, just like she did all those years ago when he'd have a panic attack.

“I fuckin’ ruined th’ best thing I’d ever had, didn’t I?” is the first thing Bucky managed to say.

She capped the water bottle and let out a deep sigh, sitting next to him on a bench that he didn’t remember sitting down at.

“I think… I think we were both to blame. We both wanted vastly different things.”

Bucky nodded sagely.

“You wanted t’ save th’ world. I jus’ wanted pussy.”

She rolled her eyes and knocked his shoulder with hers.

“Don’t be so crass, Buck. Jesus. You just- it was like we were just on two different wavelengths after graduation, you know?”

“I’ve grown up since then,” he said.

She agreed. “I know. I can see it in the way you hold yourself.”

“Damn criminal psychologists.” His voice was just as fond as hers was.

“Oh, fuck off,” she laughed.

They sat in silence for a few moments, enjoying sitting near each other again. The dance music in the hall had simmered to something soft and sweet. The fall air was crisp, and she smelled like everything that Bucky remembered her smelling like. Coconut, coffee. Sweet apples and soft, spring rain. He found himself moving closer to her on the bench.

“Never got this,” he said quietly. “Before, I mean. Never got proper closure. We were too busy screamin’ at each other an’ you left the next day.”

“Better late than never,” she said softly.

Bucky chewed his lip and watched her out of the corner of his eye. She was winding one of her ringlets around her finger; a habit she’d had since Bucky first saw her. 

She’d always tell people that they first met in their philosophy class, which was true. But the first time Bucky  _saw_  her was during freshmen orientation. She was the quietest creature he’d ever seen. She wouldn’t talk, look up, acknowledge anyone. Her cheeks were perpetually pink, and the battered paperback was held tight to her chest like it was her lifeline.

Then they’d also had a chance to spend a weekend in a dorm room on campus to see how they were, and Bucky, unable to sleep, had wandered down at 3 a.m. to the lobby. The dorm gym had been open (it stayed open all hours of the day in summer), and to his delight, she was in there, beating the absolute hell out of a punching bag. Her hair was tossed, ruined, her eyes wild and furious. So strange that he was, but Bucky was enthralled with the sight. She’d noticed someone was watching and  _flipped him off._ The door slammed closed in his face, nearly hitting Bucky square on the nose, and he was halfway to being head over heels before he even knew her name.

“’S it too forward ‘f I asked ya to dance?”

“Would you like to dance?”

They spoke at the same time. Her cheeks turned pink, and Bucky grinned with his heart lifting.

“I’d love to dance with ya. C’mon.”

She placed her right hand in his, and he guided her back inside, his hand on her lower back, not too close to her ass, but away from the soft skin exposed from where her dress opened up. The dance floor was empty, considering how many people were at the reception. But the hour was late, and most of the guests had retired to their rooms. The couple found a spot right in the middle of the floor and began to dance.

Bucky had forgotten how well they fit together. Like fucking puzzle pieces. Their bodies molded together as they swayed back and forth to a song that Bucky thought could be their wedding song. Her eye flickered up to his and Bucky’s breath caught.

“I have to tell you something,” she whispered.

“Me first,” he took a deep breath, “I- I’m not over ya. Not by a long shot. I thought I was, but seein’ ya tonight, under th’ lights, in that fuckin’ beautiful dress, it all came back to me. I’m jus’ punchin’ myself right now, ‘cause how could I have done that to ya? Dulled that shine you have. You fuckin’  _glow_ , I dunno what it is. I- fuck. I miss you. I miss holdin’ ya an’ kissin’ ya an’ our movie nights an’ just everything. I- I’m still head over heels for ya, darlin’ — my sweet baby doll. I love you so much. Will you- wouldja be willin’ to give me another chance?”

Her eyes were wet with tears. Encouraged by that reaction, Bucky bumped his nose against hers to tilt her head up, wanting to kiss her. She placed her hand over his mouth firmly, shaking her head.

“No,” she says. “We can’t.”

“Why?” he whined childishly, his voice muffled by her hand. “I’m so sorry. I swear it. I’ll do anythin’ to get you back.”

“That isn’t it, Bucky.”

“Then what?”

She sighed, tears suddenly spilling down her cheeks steadily.

“Buck, please. Don’t make me say it. I know you know.”

“I don’t! I jus’ don’t understand why you won’t-“

She wiggled her fingers against his mouth, and Bucky froze, an icy chill filling his heart. He took her hand in his and tugged it from his mouth. His eyes closed at the sight, and he backed away from her.

 _But if he breaks your heart like lovers do  
Just know that I’ll be waiting here for you_ 

“You can’t be serious,” he muttered.

“It’s been four years. James, you can’t have expected me to mourn for you.”

“Why not? I did! I still do!” he snapped.

“I didn’t- I didn’t ask you to,” she said.

“No, but I fuckin’ did it, didn’t I?” Bucky laughed bitterly.

He shook his head, his throat closing up around his tears. He needed to get away, far away from her and not let her see him break down. With no other words exchanged, Bucky rushed out of the dance hall. He thought she would follow, at least try to argue, explain herself, but she didn’t. And she never would again, damn it. Bucky coughed on the lump in his throat.

 _But I guess you look happier, you do_  
_My friends told me one day I’d feel it too_  
 _I could try to smile to hide the truth_  
 _I know I was happier with you_

The sight of the engagement ring adorning her finger would be burned into his mind for the rest of his life


	3. Our Paradise and Our War Zone (Ending Two- Smut)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure. Nobody but you, 'body but me. 'Body but us, bodies together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by 'Pillowtalk' by Zayn.
> 
> This is the smutty ending, my doods.

_**Four Years Later** _

In hindsight, Bucky should have known better. He really should have known, once Tony told him that his ex-girlfriend was going to be one of Pepper Pott’s bridesmaids, that something was going to happen. And okay, he did have an inkling that something would, but not  _this._ He expected a fight with angry words and her blowing things way out of proportion. Or he expected a calm discussion, a cleaner break than they originally had. A quick, “let’s talk about things. Okay, are we good? Good. Bye,” in and out, ‘wham bam thank you, ma’am’ kinda deal. He even expected tears. He planned and was prepared for any of the above.

But none of those options is what he got. Because here he was, fifteen minutes before he had to stand in front of a roomful of people, on his knees in a supply room, his head under the hem of his ex’s bridesmaid’s dress.

Which yeah, okay. Bucky was never good at deductive reasoning.

He was getting ready to suck on her swollen clit, so eager for him just like always, and maybe get her to wrap her newly thickened thighs around his ears when she called his name. He ignored her; mouthing at her inner thigh and feeling his dick stiffen helplessly in his nice suit pants. He purred words of the sweetest praise and dirtiest sin against her as he ran his eager fingers all over her skin; keen to reacquaint himself with her body.

 “Buck, are you even listening to me?”

“-How could I have forgotten how  _wet_ you get for me?” Bucky rambled. “I jus’. Fuck me, sweetheart! An’ this  _ass!_ Where th’ fuck did this ass come from? Swear it, swear on my life ‘fore this night’s over, you’re ridin’ my face. I want ya to choke me with these thighs. Jesus, baby doll. Jesus fucking  _Christ_ , how’d I ever let ya get away from me?”

She jabbed him in the back with her high heeled shoe, and he groaned, lifting his head from between her legs.

“Don’ play with me. You know how I am with shoes like tha’. Want ya to walk all over me in ‘em. Wouldja?”

“The ceremony is in seventeen minutes,” she reminded him. “We don’t have time for this.”

“Oh,” Bucky said, disappearing back under the hem of her dress, “Thought ya were gonna tell me somethin’ important.”

“This is important. We’re in the wedding party and we can’t just…” she yelped as Bucky pressed the pad of his thumb against her clit, “Oh! Oh, fuck. Well, you make such a good case for it.”

“Don’t I?” he purred enticingly. “Jus’ a few more minutes, darlin’. I wanna make you come. Get tha’ sweet little cunt squeezin’ around my fingers. Think it missed me? I think it did. You were always my greedy baby, always wantin’ more.”

“Buck, you’re teasing,” she whined, wiggling her hips.

He hummed in disapproval.

“Can’t believe you forgot th’ rules. You gotta ask, ‘member? I ain’t a mind reader. All you gotta do is ask an’ it’s all yours. Jus’ gotta ask, baby girl. What do you want?”

“Please!”

“C’mon honey. Needa hear you say it.”

He was almost sure her face was turning red above him.

She was a shy little thing; even when Bucky first saw her during the orientation weekend before their freshmen year of undergrad. She’d been this meek, mousy girl hiding behind her lengthy hair, not acknowledging anyone around her, and clutching a battered paperback in her arms like it was her lifeline. She’d been the cutest thing Bucky had ever seen in his life.

But later, she’d surprised him further in a way that he wasn't expecting. They’d also had a chance to spend a weekend in a dorm room on campus to see how they were, and Bucky, unable to sleep, had wandered down at 3 a.m. to the lobby. The dorm gym had been open (it stayed open all hours of the day in summer), and to his delight, she was in there, beating the absolute hell out of a punching bag. Her hair was tossed, ruined, her eyes were furious. She’d noticed someone was watching and  _flipped him off._ The door slammed in his face, nearly hitting Bucky square on the nose, and he was halfway to being head over heels before he even knew her name.

“C’mon,” he cooed. “’S jus’ me, baby. Ain’t no one else here but us. Don’t gotta be afraid.”

He knew she could do it; knew she could get fiery for him. He wanted it so badly. Wanted to have her demand him, push him around, tug on his hair, more than he wanted to  _breathe._ Bucky was still head over heels in love with this woman if he wanted her to push him around.

“C’mon pretty baby. Ask me nicely an’ I’ll give you th’ world.”

Hands that weren’t his own pushed the hem of the dress further up her legs. She wrapped her fingers in his styled hair and  _tugged_.

“Eat my pussy. Please, Buck?”

The growl he let out could only be described as triumphant. Bucky dipped his head and flattened his tongue; licking a solid stripe up her slit, leaving a little nip to her clit. She moaned in relief, her body sagging.

“More,” she demanded.

“Greedy, greedy, greedy,” Bucky teased. "My greedy baby loves this, don't she?"

He spread her thighs farther apart and threw one leg over his shoulder as he dove down to feast on her. And okay, Bucky didn’t like to brag, but he  _knew_ he was good at eating someone out. Ass, pussy, whatever it was, Bucky Barnes could eat it and eat it well. But there was just… something about her that made him even more eager to please. Something about her that made him hungry for her taste to stain his tongue. He wantedher to remember him the next time she slid her pretty little fingers into her cunt. To mark her up as his, even if this was the last time that they’d ever see each other.

_I love to hold you close, tonight and always_

_I love to wake up next to you_

Bucky’s tongue swirled. He spelled his name in long, loopy letters.

_James Buchanan Barnes._

He spelled his possession of her over and over; of her ownership of  _him._ She goddamn owned him, body and soul. It was something he’d discovered the very day she left him. He’d been in bed with another faceless woman, but all he could think about was her. All he could see was her, and when he was finished, he was ashamed of himself and ran home embarrassed at how much he’d fucked up.  

Bucky opened his mouth wider, engulfing her taste into his mouth as his tongue lapped up her slick. The noises that they were making were obscene. Sloppy, wet, smacking. Moans and growls. She cried his name, and Bucky responded in kind, thrusting his hips in a futile attempt to do something about the ache in his dick.

He couldn’t talk just then, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t. She was always so generous with her praise and Bucky appreciated the hell out of her for it.

“Bucky, shit. You make your baby feel so good,” she slurred out. “I missed your tongue so much. Ah, right there! You eat me out so well, baby. You always know how to get me off.”

Breaking away for a few gulps of air, but sliding two fingers inside her, so she wasn’t without him, Bucky took his head from under her dress and smirked. But he was sure his eyes were betraying him, and she saw all the emotions underneath his cocky attitude.

“Taste so fuckin’ sweet for me, all th’ time,” he said, nuzzling her, “Like peaches and cream. I missed you so fuckin’ much.”

“I missed you too,” she said, letting out a high pitched whine, “Please Buck. Make me come.”

“’Kay. I gotcha honey. You close?” he curved his fingers, brushing against the inside of her, and she jumped. Bucky grinned. “Oh  _yeah,_ you are. Such a good girl for me. Dig those heels in my back. C’n you do tha’ for me?”

She nodded wildly and then her heels were jabbing him in the back. Bucky’s grin widened as he slipped his head underneath her dress once again. His lips attached firmly to her clit, and he  _sucked_ ; his fingers still pumping in and out of her fast, making the same obscene noises. Her moans were getting louder and higher pitched, as they always did when she was about to come for him. Bucky wanted it so badly, wanted to feel her gush all around him.

_So we’ll piss off the neighbors_

_In the place that feels the tears_

_The place to lose your fears_

One more firm suck and twist of his fingers, and he had her.

“Fuck Bucky!” she yelled loud enough for anyone outside to hear, “Jesus shit!”

She shook and quivered around him. Bucky got a good mouthful of her slick as she came for him. He hummed, pleased, as he cleaned her up.

When he pulled his fingers from her, she whined at the loss of him. He kissed her thigh soothingly and took his head out from under her dress. She gazed up with hazy eyes, and her limbs splayed wildly all over the small table she was sitting on.

“You are so good at that,” she managed.

Bucky smiled genuinely, licking his fingers.

“’S easy when ‘s you,” he offered.

 Her eyes sparkled.

“Get up here so I can kiss you. I can’t feel my legs enough to move.”

Bucky obliged her, getting to his feet and leaning over her just far enough to plant a big, wet kiss on her lips. She smiled and tugged on his tie. They broke away, and Bucky kissed her forehead. They looped their arms around each other, smiling together.

 “Hi,” she whispered.

“Hey, my pretty doll. I missed you,” he replied, nuzzling her ear.

His phone buzzed, and Bucky pulled it from his suit pocket. He glanced at it and sighed.

“We gotta go.”

“Don’t you want me to take care of you first?” she said, raising her eyebrows.

Bucky shook his head.

“’S okay. That was all about you, darlin’.”

“Wait, hold on,” she said. “Bucky Barnes not in it for himself? Have I entered an alternate dimension?”

He shrugged, trying not to show how much her words cut him to the core. She was right to mock him. He deserved it.  

“’S been four years. I’ve done a lotta thinkin’ an’ a lotta growin’ up,” said Bucky. “An’- Shit. After ya left, I- I realized I fuckin’ ruined th’ only good thing I’ve ever had. I destroyed  _you_ an’ I hated myself for it.”

“It wasn’t just you,” she said, stepping off the table and adjusting herself as she spoke, “I was so caught up with my career, and we were on completely different wavelengths.”

“You wanted to help people an’ I jus’ wanted pussy. I didn’t care who I hurt.”

“Don’t be crass, Buck,” she teased, before turning serious again, her forehead creasing in that way that meant she was thinking hard, “We were both childish in our way. I think- I think I was scared of what we had, honestly. You were-  _are,_  so intense and beautiful. You love hard and deep. How could I compete with that?”

Bucky took a breath, “You’re th’ only one I‘ve ever wanted. ‘S fuckin' easy to love ya. Can’t you see it? We work because I’m intense an’ you’re  _not._ We balance each other out. Opposites attract an’ I was too stupid to see it th’ first time. I know I hurt ya, baby, but I’ve grown up these last four years an’- An’ when I saw ya today, it all came rushin’ back. I still love you. So much. An’ I’ll give anythin’ to prove it to ya.”

She was chewing her lip as she contemplated his words. Bucky could almost see the cogs in her beautiful little head turning his words over and over again, analyzing him. Her eyes ran over his face; reading the lines of his body and looking deep into his eyes for lies. She was like a human lie detector. Bucky loved her so much.

“Maybe-“ she chewed her lip harder, “Maybe. There is still something here, and it isn’t lust. I think I still love you too, Buck. Maybe-“

“A trial run,” Bucky interrupted, his heart lifting at her words, “You’re here for a few more days, right?”

She nodded.

“Lemme take you out. Treat you right an’ we can see how we feel later. If it doesn’t work, at least we got closure this time. Waddaya say? Will you go out with me baby girl?”

“Uh-huh. I’d love to go out with you, Buck.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> There will be two succeeding endings- one angsty, and one smutty. The angsty one follows this one~
> 
> <3


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